Saturday, March 15, 2008

It's a Quiet Saturday Morning

I'm here with my paper, my thoughts, and the kittie.

It no longer seems odd or off-kilter to be alone here on Saturdays. And I no longer have the overwhelming urge to go...anywhere for the day, do anything, as long as it wasn't spent here. Alone.

I've gotten used to doing the chores by myself. Making all the decisions by myself. I mean, I did it before, when I was single, lived alone for so many years. But it's been a struggle to relearn those skills, for lack of a better word.

In some ways, things are easier because there's someone new in my life, because there's the knowledge that someone is out there, thinking about me, someone who isn't required to care whether or not I'm okay. Someone who cares because he wants to.

There's always going to be that residual sadness. It ebbs and flows, like all things in life. I guess I'm just missing my friend this morning.