Thursday, January 31, 2008

I Spent

$3.00 today on a brownie. That as best I could tell had no liquor in it.

Welcome to Opryland.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Okay, Y'all

I'm off to Nashville till late Sunday.

No head-shaving, short-sheeting, wedgies or drinking up my tequila while I'm gone.

Other than that, hell, have a party.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Phone Calls, I Get Phone Calls

South Carolina, in its infinite wisdom, chose this year to split up its Republican and Democratic Presidential Primaries into two days, respective Saturdays.

The Republicans rolled last week, and last Thursday and Friday I was treated to a never-ending series of phone calls. I came home last Thursday to a message (nay, spittle-laced screed) from Madelyn Murray-O'Hare's son, decrying the Godless atheists and all they had done to ruin our country. I think he wanted me to vote for Huckabee. Or go pray in a school.

Alas, don't despair. Mike called. Mitt called. And called. And called again. His wife even called Saturday morning. Word to the wise dude, girls are turned off by that whiff of desperation. And John McCain called. His call was the best.

With the Dems, it's been a different story. A polite, not pre-recorded young man from the Obama campaign called and left a message asking to call him back so he could talk about his candidate. John called as well, and left a nice message. He's a good fellow, appears as if his momma raised him right. I like him.

Hill and John themselves called last night, according to the Caller ID, but didn't leave messages.

The best one has been the call from the obviously deranged fellow in Texas, who is a well-known Clinton hater, continually barraging reporters with emails that claim Bill and Hillary have been behind everything from the Lindbergh baby to Jimmy Hoffa.

This one was a humdinger. It started off "Did you know Hillary launched into a profanity-laced fit on Inauguration Day 1993 when she discovered she would not be allowed to use Al Gore's office? Can Hillary be trusted?

It went on from there, listing a number of alleged crimes by Hillary, always followed by 'Can Hillary be trusted?'.

The best one? Hillary hired a well-known bad guy to stalk and harass Kathleen Willey, including having Willey's cat kidnapped, and it is believed, later killed. He went on to say, quote, "Hillary thinks cats are expendable. Can she be trusted?"

Not to make light of animal cruelty by any means, but I have to say, if any of this were true, I think Hillary thinking cats are expendable is the least of our worries.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

It's My Fault, Really

I like to watch the local 5:00 p.m. news and then the ensuing 6:00 p.m. news--it's my latent OCD/Asperger's tendencies rearing their little heads, I think.

In between the news shows, the local affiliate runs 'Inside Edition'. Which I generally leave on & pay limited attention to, except when they do some cute animal story or some other equally innocuous fluff.

Today, like yesterday, has been all Heath Ledger, all the time. What caught my attention, and caused me to throw up in my mouth this afternoon was the sign-off story: video of an empty apartment in the same building where Ledger passed away.

Because the story isn't complete without the viewing public being treated to the verisimilitude of an apartment 'like' the apartment in which Ledger died.

Edward R. Murrow would be so proud.

Monday, January 21, 2008

A Date

Used in a sentence:

"randomsoutherner had a date this weekend."

Yes, it was with the 'gentleman friend' with whom I've been having the good conversations and good silences.

We met in Madison, Georgia, a halfway point for both of us-he lives in Northwest Georgia*. Madison bills itself as the 'Town too pretty for Sherman to burn'. And it is a pretty, charming town, even with 30-something degree temps, freezing rain and snow flurries.

And the good conversations and good silences continued as we made do with college basketball and reruns of The Andy Griffith Show for entertainment.

Sunday morning dawned clear and cooold, with some icy patches on the pavement. As my rear end discovered when I slid on a small, but treacherous patch. I told him to get used to it, the odds of those kind of antics occuring where I'm concerned increase exponentially anytime I...walk out my front door.

The time to leave came too damn soon.

We have plans to get together again in four weeks.

It can't come fast enough.

*ETA: I have been gently corrected by my gentleman friend that the correct description of his neck of the woods is West Central Georgia. I feel compelled to post this edit, as I surely would not want the Deliverance crowd annoyed with me.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Quite Possibly

the greatest response from an advice columnist, ever:

Dear Prudence,

I'm 24, and I've been with my boyfriend for about 18 months. We were friends in high school, then met again after college, and started living together almost immediately. We have been talking about marriage lately, which I am beyond excited about; however, my boyfriend has informed me that I need to lose 20 pounds before he will propose. He claims that's the only reason he hasn't asked me yet. In his words, he wants "a hot wife." Am I crazy to think that unconditional and true love still exists? Everything else in our relationship is great. I don't want to walk away from something so wonderful, but this just seems a little ridiculous. Help!
—In Love With Mr. Vain
Dear In Love,I have a plan that will make both of you happy. It begins with you starting on a new exercise program. Get a comfortable outfit and a pair of excellent workout shoes. Then put all your worldly possession in a suitcase, pick it up, walk out the door, and keep on walking.


From the Dear Prudence column, posted on 1.17.08

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

14 Days = 2 Years

In two weeks, it will be the two year anniversary of my dear Donnie's death. I've been counting down the days to this anniversary, something I haven't done in a long time.

Each day that goes by, I feel further and further away from him. I haven't dreamt of him in ages.

There are still moments that overwhelm me. I walked into the bedroom yesterday and spotted his stuffed Tiger I bought him after his beloved cat, Bubba, died.

Tiger's been right there on that shelf where he's always been-I guess it's one of those deals where you're so familiar with the contents of a room, the details become a blur.

I sat on Donnie's side of the bed, cradling Tiger and crying. I heard myself saying "I'm not leaving you behind, Donnie. I'm just putting you in the proper place in my life." I calmed down a bit after that. Later though, I woke in the night crying. Haven't done that in maybe a year or more.

I have had to correct myself a few times here recently when I've spoken about Donnie. Because the time frame is no longer 'last year', it's 'the year before last' or 'two years ago'. The mere change of the calendar to 2008 took 'last year' away from me.

I find myself wondering if these things are an indication of my heart catching up with my head or the other way around? Maybe it's a bit of both.

I see changes coming to my life. Changes that are the result of the big change that blasted the foundation of my life from under me on January 29th, 2006.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Good Conversations...and Good Silences

I've been having a lot of both lately with a nice, decent guy.

We've been doing the Instant Message thing, and we've had several phone calls. Both the calls and the 'IM' sessions have tended to last in the several hour range.

If you were to ask me what we talk about, I'd tell you 'stuff and things'.

What tells me that this one might be different are the good silences that occur during our conversations. The kind where we both go quiet, and just listen, listen for the knowledge that there is someone on the other end of the line, that we are connected.

That we are connecting.

Friday, January 11, 2008

My New Hair Dryer:

The Conair Infiniti, that comes with its own 'Instructional DVD'. I'm scared.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

For 2008, I Resolve

to again not join Weight Watchers.

For so many reasons, including that they've always seemed like a bit of a cult to me; I'm enough like Groucho that I'm not overly impressed with any club that would have me as a member, but most of all, because of their beyond obnoxious and self-serving ad campaign of 'Diets Don't Work' and 'Diet is a 4-letter word' unveiled for the 2008 "I must starve myself because I overindulged during the most recent holiday bacchanalia, gained five pounds and am now a worthless person." season.

It does however, appear to be working for somebody:
Weight Watchers Key numbers for fiscal year ending December, 2006:
Sales: $1,233.3 Million
One year growth: 7.1%
Net income: $209.8Million
Income growth: 20.3%

I also resolve to never eat Special K, a brand that has been working overtime to develop an entire line of faux foods to further convince and encourage women they should make do with cardboard and liquid to attain an arbitrary ideal. I also resolve never to eat Special K because I despise beyond all that is rational that damn commercial where the mom is in the red & white robe bending over at the fireplace as her spawn declaims 'Santa' from the stairs. And all mom does is smile lovingly and head for the cabinet full of artfully arranged Special K items? Makes my head explode.

And Subway needs to check itself, because it's newest ad campaign, where the sylph-like young woman asks what comes with the cheeseburger deal, only to be met with a barrage of self-esteem stripping adjectives from the twit behind the counter is really beginning to get on my nerves. I'd really hate to give up my six-inch tuna on whole wheat w/ spinach subs.

No! Really?

Dr. Phil cancels Britney Spears show

Monday, January 7th 2008, 4:07 PM
Dr. Phil's planned sitdown Monday with Britney Spears' parents dissolved into accusations he was exploiting the troubled singer's emotional crackup.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Gotta Love a True Baseball Fan

Psh, Like the Fans Matter

Guy #1: And where did you go to high school?
Guy #2: [Names high school.]
Guy #1: Wait, where are you from, again?
Guy #2: I'm from just outside of Boston.
Guy #1: So, you're a Red Sox fan?
Guy #2: Yup.
Guy #1: Asshole.

--6 train

Overheard by: Fellow asshole

via Overheard in New York, Jan 5, 2008

Friday, January 4, 2008

Yay, It's Friday!

And it seems as if I just went back to work yesterday.

Oh wait, I did.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

It Is To Make Me Cry

They are Stuart Weitzman's, so the $298.00 price tag is theoretically justifiable. And they are available in wide withs, which makes Stuart Weitzman a shoe god. It is but the 3 and 1/2 heel that prevents me from purchasing these luscious items. Because the falling down? I would be constantly doing.

Man It's Cold

in these here parts. The high today is forecast to be about...45 degrees. There's vegetable soup simmering on the stove & I'm being a hermit for this last day of Winter break.

Back to work tomorrow. Woo-hoo.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

It's Said

in my family that what you do on New Year's Eve & New Year's Day is what you will spend the year doing.

So I guess there could be worse things than overdosing on Law & Order reruns.

Sunday was L&O: SVU--while Saint Olivia gets on my nerves, I can tolerate her to get my fix of Munch & Fin.

Yesterday was L&O: CI--Oh my, Bobby Goren and Mike Logan, yum yum.

And today is L&O: Original Flavor--what's cool about this is one can compare and contrast the hotness that was Chris Noth back in the day and the hotness that Chris Noth brings today. More yum yum.

And later today? Gonna watch Georgia v. Hawaii. My practical side knows that Georgia is likely to run away with this one, but since we hate Georgia, the unpractical side of me wants to see Hawaii whup it up on 'em.

Happy New Year to my friends. Don't forget to have some peas and pork and greens to bring on good luck for 2008.