Tuesday, January 8, 2008

For 2008, I Resolve

to again not join Weight Watchers.

For so many reasons, including that they've always seemed like a bit of a cult to me; I'm enough like Groucho that I'm not overly impressed with any club that would have me as a member, but most of all, because of their beyond obnoxious and self-serving ad campaign of 'Diets Don't Work' and 'Diet is a 4-letter word' unveiled for the 2008 "I must starve myself because I overindulged during the most recent holiday bacchanalia, gained five pounds and am now a worthless person." season.

It does however, appear to be working for somebody:
Weight Watchers Key numbers for fiscal year ending December, 2006:
Sales: $1,233.3 Million
One year growth: 7.1%
Net income: $209.8Million
Income growth: 20.3%

I also resolve to never eat Special K, a brand that has been working overtime to develop an entire line of faux foods to further convince and encourage women they should make do with cardboard and liquid to attain an arbitrary ideal. I also resolve never to eat Special K because I despise beyond all that is rational that damn commercial where the mom is in the red & white robe bending over at the fireplace as her spawn declaims 'Santa' from the stairs. And all mom does is smile lovingly and head for the cabinet full of artfully arranged Special K items? Makes my head explode.

And Subway needs to check itself, because it's newest ad campaign, where the sylph-like young woman asks what comes with the cheeseburger deal, only to be met with a barrage of self-esteem stripping adjectives from the twit behind the counter is really beginning to get on my nerves. I'd really hate to give up my six-inch tuna on whole wheat w/ spinach subs.

3 comments:

pat said...

I agree....as I munch on a plate full of lettuce. The plate isn't bad really...

Jennifer said...

I'm of the WW cult. Part of those earnings can be directly attributed to my rather sizeable ass.

Bah.

It does work, but I'm always left to wonder why the hell I have to pay somebody in order to find the motivation I need. And yet, alas, alack...I do.

These are all more valid reasons to worship at the power button of the DVR. Tape a show, start watching it fifteen minutes after it starts, FF through commercials: best invention ever.

poopie said...

Now those are resolutions I can get into. Here's to 08 sista girl!