Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Dear Mr. Nigerian Dating Scammer:

Just a few tips based upon my review of the following message you sent me on my 'Myspace' page:

Hello Gorgeous,How are you doing?

I hope you get this mail and it finds you well in Goodshape,Sorry for writing this late as I have been very busy lately with my flight arrangements and appointments.I was glancing through profiles when your gorgeous picture got me attracted while your lovely words had me write really was marvelled reading your profile and i enjoyed doing so.The first thing that came to my mind when i saw your picture was..''re drop dead i thought i'ld take out time to introduce myself. I'm Dennis Hughes 46yrs 5'9inches tall" 175lbs blonde hairs,blue eyes.Originally from cedar grove,New Jersey but presently embarked on a business trip to the United Kingdom to purchase some Furniture Wooden Antiques .

Widowed ,was born by a british woman from London,UK with a white man from cedar grove,New Jersey .I relocated to staying in cedar grove,New Jersey after i lost my dad...died an Asthmatic Patient,but grew up with mum in London,UK.Studied in (oxford university London) had degree in Arts And Sculpture.I'm a proud contractor,deal in making arts piece and also into sales and marketing of furniture wooden antiques.I receive the most compliments on my eyes (Blue), legs (shapely/muscular) and my thoughtfulness (very). I consider myself very versatile and I have to be because I have friends and business associates of all races, ages and socio-economic backgrounds. I'm very laid-back and down-to-earth. I'm also very old-fashioned when it comes to my respect and treatment of women...As for my hobbies...Hhhh Like camping,fishing,golf,watching movies,not much into sports but also do the side

I like spending time with loved ones,i don't smoke and i don't drink .I really don't have much time for the common 'traditional divorced scene' but thought i'ld give it a try,besides, i have a few friends who have had good experiences.I'm an honest and straight forward man not into playing games. Seeking a woman with the entire provabial package,beauty and morals.With self respect,understanding caring heart and not into games.Looking for a serious woman to settle with spend the rest of my life with,would take things easy but if sparks fly,then so be it.

Sorry for the lengthy note,however my aim is to give you a full picture of who i am.But I would be very glad if you respond with the hope of corresponding,and also hope we get to know each other better as i look forward to reading from you soon.Till i hear from you,have a blissful time and stay with God's blessings. i got im on yahoo instant messenger u can aslo reach me on there on if u have yahoo u could aslo let me know so we can chat there ok. Many Thanks Dennis Hughes

Tip #1: Maybe get someone who learned to read and write English as their first language to compose these missives for you--the fucked-up syntax, inappropriate capitalizations and overall lack of understanding of proper punctuation are kind of a dead giveaway.

Tip #2: Keep your stories straight-at first you say you are widowed, then you talk about not liking 'the traditional divorce scene'. I'd stick with widowed, just for the sympathy vote.

Tip #3 and this is a biggie: I have never heard an American male of any persuasion describe his legs as 'shapely'.

And just out of curiosity, what the Hell is 'the side thing'?

Good luck in your search, and be sure to let me know if I win the lottery.


poopie said...

heheheh...been there done that :)

Jennifer said...

Hello, gorgeous.

pat said...

That is too funny.....The side thing????? Sadly, many people still fall for it.....

Darren said...

How come I only get the ones from the widows of former heads of state? No Nigerian ever hits on me :(