Under the Category

of Damn, I wish I'd thought of that:

Dickopedia.

Two immediate favorites: David Gregory and Rick Warren.


Enjoy.

Dear Marie Osmond:

Please shut up about Nutrisystem. You have to be the most annoying spokesperson ever. Even moreso than Rachel Ray or Progressive's Flo. And that's saying something. They make me want to get all stabby with them. You make me want to get stabby with myself.

And eat a sandwich. And leave some makeup for the rest of us.

K?thanxbye.

Health, Wellness, and Diet

Over the past two days, the network morning shows have had features on these topics. They have them every weekend. And they're insidious.

On the CBS show yesterday, the 'Health' feature focused on a young woman who'd had liposuction to alleviate her...cankles. That's right, if you have cankles, that's a serious health issue and there are MD's out there who are willing to help you with it. The young lady in question was rather svelte, to my eye, and while she didn't have well-defined ankles, she had discernible legs, calves, ankles, and feet. She talked about how self-conscious she'd been over the years wearing dresses and shorts, and gushed about how the surgery, performed just a few weeks earlier, had already made a difference.

They showed 'before and after' photos of her legs/ankles from the back and honestly? I couldn't tell a difference. In fact, I thought the before photos showed more definition. But the victim...er, patient was happy, so I guess that's all that matters.

On this morning's Today show, the fellow who wrote 'Eat This, Not That' was featured, and the first words out of his mouth were: "If you follow what I'm about to tell you, you'll lose 20 lbs in the next six weeks." My first thought was, 'wow, a rapid loss like that is really not recommended these days, is it?'

His 'advice' for losing said 20 lbs? When you go to Red Lobster, instead of having one kind of cocktail that rings in at 800+ calories, have this other cocktail that comes in at 200 or so calories. And when you go to California Pizza Kitchen, don't have the yada yada asian chicken salad, have the cheese pizza. And when you go to Cold Stone Creamery, don't have the tall shake something. And when you go to...well, I can't tell you the last piece of advice, because I tuned him out. Because I haven't been to Red Lobster in about five years or so, and wouldn't dream of having a cocktail there when I do go. And there are no California Pizza Kitchens in SC, so no choice to make there. And I maybe go to Cold Stone Creamery once every three months or so.

And also because I was screaming in my head (because it makes Le Boyfriend nervous when I scream/talk back to the television), 'What kind of advice is this? It's presented as if people eat out at these places every day, and have one of these cocktails/shakes/salads/whatever every day as part of their regular diet.

Story #1 is insidious in the way that so much of women's appearance is being 'medicalized' these days. When a story is presented as a 'Health' topic, and a Dr appears to discuss the medical/health issues involved, it's not a leap to realize there are a lot of women out there who will think "ZOMG, I have cankles. I have something else wrong with me. My cankles can't be seen in public because they're not perfect."

Story #2 is insidious in the way it posits that everyone makes bad choices all the time and teh fat is BADBADBAD and you should NEVER HAVE A TREAT because it will make you fat and teh fat is BADBADBAD. Plus the writer is an authoritarian dick (disclaimer re: the last statement: my personal opinion).

ETA: I'm equally annoyed with the professional smilers who host these programs. Not once did the anchorwoman handling the cankles story yesterday ask how this was a 'health and/or medical issue; and not once did the anchorwoman today ask the obvious: 'how many people are we actually talking about here who eat like this every day that making these specific changes would precipitate the 20 lb weight loss?

A Recap

of the CBS Evening News, for those who missed it:

MICHAEL JACKSON
MICHAEL JACKSON
MICHAEL JACKSON
RANDOM B-LIST CELEBRITIES TALKING ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON
MICHAEL JACKSON
MICHAEL JACKSON

Commercial stuff

RANDOM PEOPLE ON THE STREET WHO APPARENTLY DON'T HAVE JOBS/FAMILIES/A LIFE JABBERING ABOUT...MICHAEL JACKSON
MICHAEL JACKSON
MICHAEL JACKSON
MICHAEL JACKSON
MICHAEL JACKSON

Commercial Stuff

Oh and the dow did something and the President went somewhere and talked to some guy, and uh, there was some weather stuff, and some guy was sworn in to do something in DC.

TO CONCLUDE:
MICHAEL JACKSON
MICHAEL JACKSON

Tomorrow: We're fairly sure Michael Jackson will still be dead, but we think we can milk this shit for at least another day or two.

I've Been Watching

a 'Charlie's Angels' marathon on WGN, in memorium to Farrah.

Some thoughts spring to mind:

1. Farrah was really unbelievably beautiful.
2. Hugh O'Brien was seriously hot.
3. They dressed Kate Jackson atrociously.
4. Chloroform sure was mighty easy to come by in those days.
5. 70's tv was badly written.

And would people please take a break with the dying? I mean, Billy Mays and now Gale Storm? Makes one kind of scared to open the Internets.

Dear Sarah Palin:

David Letterman does not owe me an apology; please do not presume to speak for me.

Sincerely,
Randomsoutherner

P.S.: ur an idiot

Aw, We'll Miss You

Pussycat.

How I loved Maude, and how I really loved Golden Girls. I watch it every day.

Opiate for the Masses, Indeed

The CBS Morning Show opened this morning with the resident generic news chick breathlessly 'reporting' there was Breaking News.

Which consisted of telling us that some rapper had been arrested for assault Saturday night, and that it's alleged the victim was his girlfriend, another performer, and both had pulled out of the Grammys* Sunday night with almost no notice.

This? This is CBS' definition of 'Breaking News'? Sheesh.


*Said Grammys broadcast the previous evening on...CBS.

I'm an

Obama gal, if you were having some difficulty figuring that out.

Having said that:

Ohmigod Media, take a breath. The minute to minute play-by-play is a bit much. I joked to someone at work today that I fully expected to hear a report that 'President Obama awoke at 5:18 a.m. this morning and hit the snooze button for seven minutes' any day now.

So I couldn't help but laugh when Le Boyfriend said one of the news shows this morning 'reported' that the lights were on in the residence before dawn this morning.

Surreal much?

Here We Go

The 'Sarah Palin Whine-a-Thon' begins, wherein she blames sexism, class warfare, and that mean ole, center of the universe Katie Couric for her Epic Fail.

She's interviewed by John Zeigler, whose premise is that the librul Main Stream Media was in the tank* for Barack Obama. She comes across as poorly here as she did in almost every other one-on-one media encounter during the campaign. And now she's blaming this round of 'poor performance/creative editing' on Zeigler, who is ostensibly making a documentary to prove her premise.

I remember the first season of 'The Apprentice' with Omarosa-who came across as a bigoted, insulting snob who believed the universe revolved around her. After the program, when she wasn't America's darling, she blamed bad editing. One of the other contestants (eventual winner Bill Rancic, I believe**) astutely said the editors couldn't create film of her that didn't exist.


*Can we retire 'In the tank'...forever? Please??

**I'm suitably intellectually embarrassed that I remember this-with no help from the Internet-just pulled this info out of my head.

From the Wasilla, Alaska Newspaper of Record:

FRONTIERSMAN EXCLUSIVE: Palin responds to questions

Published on Tuesday, September 30, 2008 12:39 AM AKDT

Gov. Sarah Palin, the GOP vice presidential nominee, agreed to a request by her hometown newspaper, the Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman, for an interview by providing written responses via e-mail to the following questions. The responses here were not edited and are preceded by the verbatim questions posed to her.

My analysis in italics following her answers, because I know you're breathless with anticipation.

1. Your name had been whispered as one of any number of potential Sen. John McCain running mates for months before the official announcement. At what time did you realize you had a legitimate chance to be that choice?


I first met John seven months ago in Washington. I was immediately impressed by the Senator’s candor, warmth and humor. We are both mavericks, and we hit it off right away. The idea of this being a possibility became real when I flew to Arizona three days before I was announced as his selection.

Kinda confirms that there was no serious vetting, eh?

2. What successes did you have and what mistakes did you make during your time on Wasilla City Council and as Wasilla mayor?

Since my time as a city councilmember, mayor, and now, of course, as governor, I’ve been an active reformer. Right away, I think I saw that Wasilla’s government as a “good old boys network” — and knew we had an opportunity to change and progress this city. When I was elected mayor, I immediately took charge and shook things up, as you know. Our tax cuts and strategy for growth were big successes. The big mistake is always underestimating how much opposition you face as a real reformer, but I love the valley so much I was going to do what the city council staff and I felt was right for the people who live and work here.

Good answer, albeit typical politico answer.

3. We’re confident you were aware that being added to the presidential ticket would open up your personal life to public scrutiny. Were you prepared for the level of media and tabloid coverage of your past and family? Please explain how you and your family are dealing with this and whether you believe your family — and those of the other three candidates on the national ticket — are out of bounds, or does the public have a legitimate interest in the private lives of candidates?


Nothing really prepares you for hatred and made-up stories. But it’s nothing like the hard times of a family that’s lost a job, lost health insurance, or lost a son or daughter in battle. I would hope that the privacy of my children would be respected, as has been the tradition for the children of previous candidates. Obviously, it hasn’t been so far. I think part of the media frenzy is because I haven’t been a part of the Washington establishment and that I’m not as well known to the powers that be in Washington. I’m not going to win over anyone in the media elite — I’m going to do my best for the American people. And of course all candidates want to shield their children from the rancor and bitterness. My personal e-mails being hacked into really took the cake because of all the violation of confidence and privacy that others felt when they saw the e-mails they sent to me were posted on Web sites around the world. Concern for my family’s safety was also paramount because pictures and contact information for my kids were published and their receipt of all the harassing calls and messages has been very concerning.

She's right about what caused the media frenzy, and she's right that her kids shouldn't have been dragged into it. My follow-up question would have to be 'Define media elite'.

4. As you are traveling around the country, what are you hearing from Americans about the energy crisis and what do you think Alaska can contribute to solving the problem?

The American people understand that we are on an unsustainable path — we rely on countries that don’t like us very much to provide fuel for our cars and trucks and oil to heat our homes, places of business and schools. John McCain and I know that we need a comprehensive “all of the above” approach, keeping all options on the table including more domestic drilling, wind, solar, hydrogen, natural gas, clean coal, geothermal and bio fuels. As governor, I pushed for the largest infrastructure project in North America, the natural gas pipeline that will provide new supply and price relief from Alaska to Americans in the Lower 48. We are maximizing the recovery of resources and minimizing waste, helping lead to less dependence on foreign supplies. Our dependence on foreign energy must end, and Alaska, with all its resources, will play a major role. It’s been great being able to tell that story to America and world leaders who are excited about Alaska’s role in our world.

She does appear to be fairly well-versed on energy issues, based on this and some clips I've seen of her on this topic. However, it tends to be Alaska-centric. Not surprising, but Alaska is a special place. And I don't mean that snarkily.

5. Since your campaign began, you’ve stated you opposed the “Bridge to Nowhere” and have called it that. What caused you to change your stance on building the bridge? Also, do you still support construction of the Knik Arm bridge? Why or why not?

After taking office and examining the project closely, realizing the Feds were not going to fund it as Alaskans had assumed was the case, I cancelled the project. Even the Alaska Democratic Party credited me, or blamed me, with killing the bridge to nowhere until I became the vice presidential nominee and they removed this reference from their website. Alaskans will have to prioritize for the Knik Arm Crossing if it is truly a top state priority because Congress won’t fund it either. John and I believe there will be earmark reform in Congress because it’s a corrupted system.

Lying liar.

6. During your tenure as mayor in 2000, then police chief Charlie Fannon commented in a May 23, 2000 Frontiersman article about legislation Gov. Tony Knowles signed protecting victims of sexual assault from being billed for rape kits collected by police as part of their investigations. Fannon revealed then that Knowles’ decision would cost Wasilla $5,000 to $14,000 a year, insinuating that the department’s policy was to bill victims for this testing. During your tenure as Mayor, what was the police department and city’s standard operating procedure in recovering costs of rape kits? Were any sexual assault victims ever charged for this testing while you were mayor?

The entire notion of making a victim of a crime pay for anything is crazy. I do not believe, nor have I ever believed, that rape victims should have to pay for an evidence-gathering test. As governor, I worked in a variety of ways to tackle the problem of sexual assault and rape, including making domestic violence a priority of my administration.

Non-answer answer. And lying liar.

7. Reporters from around the globe have been investigating policies and decisions you made during your time as Wasilla mayor. Regarding the flap over questioning then library director Mary Ellen Emmons, at the time in December 1996 you said inquiries you made to her about censoring materials in the library were “rhetorical.” Please explain. Were there books at the library at that time you wanted removed? Was there ever a list of books you didn’t want at the Wasilla library? Also, a San Francisco man recently donated two books to the Wasilla library that attempt to explain homosexual family life to children. Do you see any reason these books should not be placed on the library’s shelves?


As people there know, all questions posed to the library director were asked in a context of professionalism, regarding the library policy that was in place. Before I became mayor, there was conversation in our community about what sorts of books were appropriate for the public library. I asked the librarian about the process for answering that question as a way to familiarize myself with city staff and the issues being discussed in Wasilla at that time. I certainly never advocated banning books. This was a ridiculous, false claim. Supposedly one of the books the media claims I banned was “Harry Potter,” which wasn’t even published back then. There were never any books banned and any reports claiming otherwise are grossly false.
I’ve always believed the government closest to the people governs best, so I won’t try to second-guess local officials back home.

She gets an A for this one. Internet maguffin. Unless it's one of those lying liar things. But without being able to read her mind, have to give her the benefit of the doubt here.


8. If the McCain-Palin ticket is elected, you would be the first female vice president and it’s conceivable you could be the first female president in the history of the United States. Can you put into words what this means to you and to women everywhere?


First and foremost, my selection means there is a clear answer when you ask “who are the real reformers?” in this race. John McCain and I are the agents of change. This is a great responsibility, but it’s wanted and appreciated. I’m not going to let women, or John McCain, or anyone else down in carrying out the responsibilities I have as a candidate and hope to have as Vice President.

Non-answer answer. Blew an opportunity to discuss how one can be a conservative and a feminist. The two are not mutually exclusive.


9. You’ve stated on the trail that you would be an advocate for families with special needs, yet the state of Alaska has a Developmental Disabilities Waiting List with more than 900 people waiting for the critical assistance they need. The latest report said it would take $45 million dollars to eradicate this waiting list. What is your administration doing to address the issues that families with special needs face?

In March 2008, I signed legislation reforming Alaska’s education funding formula to bring more accountability and predictability. The legislation increases funding for students with special needs from $26,900 to $73,840 per student. It is our hope that by providing the necessary funding support, we can touch more children with special needs who did not have opportunities before due to the prohibitive costs of providing the appropriate care. I’m an advocate for special needs children. Ever since I took the chief executive’s job up North, I’ve pushed for more funding for students with special needs. It’s touched my heart for years, especially with the beautiful addition to our family 13 years ago, of our nephew with autism, then with the birth of our beautiful baby boy, Trig, we joined so many American families that know that some of life’s greatest joys come with unique challenges. We’re going to make sure the government is on their side. John McCain and I have a vision of an America where every child is cherished.

Maybe the ultimate non-answer answer. Alaska has a seperate agency, as I'm sure most states do, that deal with disabilities and special needs. What they do and what is required through the school system are two different things. Did not address the waiting list, which is available as a PDF at the Alaska DD Agency website.

10.Alaska has the third worst children’s health insurance program in the country. It covers children who live in families that earn up to 175% of the poverty level, while 47 other states do much more. Is your administration working on a plan to improve this?

I know the challenges that families without health insurance face. I know about the tough decisions and I know about their worries. There were times that Todd and I didn’t have health insurance. Believe me — that is a very scary thing for a family. John McCain and I have a detailed plan that includes providing a $5,000 tax credit to families so they can buy health insurance. That policy will be theirs — it will make quality health care accessible and affordable. I’m going to work to put this plan in effect so that every family in America can have access to quality, affordable health care.

Doesn't address the question...Surprise! They're asking what her administration as Alaska Governor is doing to address the issue.

11. Prior to the Aug. 29 announcement of your choice as the Republican vice presidential running mate, you addressed what has become known as “Troopergate.” At that time, you said you would welcome an investigation into the controversy. Please explain why now state employees are not responding to subpoenas from the Legislature’s investigators.

I am an open book on this matter and am fully cooperating with the non-political, legally appropriate and independent investigation of the Personnel Board. I have agreed to produce all documents, and am scheduling meetings with its investigator, Mr. Petumenos. Todd is also willing to speak with the new investigator, as are staff members. Walt Monegan has acknowledged I did not, nor did Todd, nor did any staff member, tell him to fire anyone. Walt was offered another position because he was not willing to implement the Palin-Parnell administration’s agenda to find efficiencies in every state department so that the public could be better served, and to fill the vacant trooper positions that I fought hard to fund. As far as those who work with me in state government, I know that the Attorney General is questioning the validity of the subpoenas and has asked the Court for guidance. Once AG Colberg receives guidance, I am sure that he will pass along his professional opinion to the government employees. The threats against my family that were made by an Alaska state trooper are a separate issue and the details of “Tasergate” are in the political record now.

An open book with no print on the pages.

12. On Sept. 19, Attorney General Colberg wrote a letter stating he had confirmed with bar counsel that his contact with former Commissioner of Public Safety Walt Monegan did not create a conflict of interest. If this is the case, why have you hired private counsel in the Monegan inquiry? Are attorneys from the McCain/Palin campaign advising the Department of Law as well as Thomas Van Flein?


The subpoenas were responded to. The Attorney General has determined that there are valid challenges to the subpoenas, so he filed a motion to quash the subpoenas in court. Until motions are decided, the employees are not obligated to testify. We hired private counsel to assist us with the legal questions that have arisen in the course of the inquiry and to ensure that Alaskans would not have to foot the bill. McCain-Palin lawyers are not advising the Department of Law, and of course Thomas Van Flein consults with attorneys as he determines is necessary.

An A for this one, as well.

13. Being on the campaign trail, how involved are you in the day-to-day operations of running the state of Alaska? Following up, to what extent is the McCain-Palin campaign involved in state government operations?

I have contact every day with staff. The McCain-Palin campaign is not involved in operating state government. The day-to-day operations of Alaska are foremost on my mind as I speak to Americans about our great state and how Alaskans can contribute to the future of our nation. There is great satisfaction in knowing that the Alaskans who work with me know my priorities and know the direction in which I want to take this state. They continue to work on my priorities while I remain on the road. The campaign is not involved in state government operations. The campaign is responding to the hundreds of media calls coming into Alaska not because I am Governor, but because I am a Vice Presidential candidate. I appreciate the support and the ability to keep my state staff separate and apart from the campaign staff.

Sounds good, although there have been reports that calls to the Governor's office were being redirected to the McCain campaign and there have been a lot of protests in Alaska. I can only take her word on this one, since I don't live there. If any of my Alaska readers want to chime in, feel free (that's a joke, btw).

14. What message do you have for the people of the Mat-Su Valley and state of Alaska from the campaign trail?

Americans are excited about Alaska, and everywhere we go, people bring out their Alaska ball caps and Alaska flags and other memorabilia that says “Alaska.” The warmth and support Americans have toward our great state grows every day and I so enjoy sharing our story. John McCain and I continue to provide hope to those who want change in Washington. We can bring the reform from our states to the nation’s capitol, and I look forward to doing it with your help and support.

Good answer. I think she really loves her state.

Anyone Else

find themselves wishing a piece of roofing tile would make a direct hit upside Jim Cantore's head? No? Just me? Alrighty then.

Chloe Marshall

Have you heard of her? She's the size 16 Beauty Queen Contestant from Great Britain.

Inside Edition*, that bastion of Pulitzer-quality journalism, ran a story on her today. Following are some narrative and quotes from the story that were available on the Inside Edition website. As best I can tell, none of the commenters have ever met the girl, and yet feel free to presume to be experts on a number of things, including her eating habits, her character, and in one instance, even make predictions with a certitude that puts Sylvia Browne to shame concerning the girl's future size:

Airdate: 4/8/2008

She's a far cry from your average bikini-clad beauty queen. Chloe Marshall tips the scale at 176 pounds. Even so, her knockout smile and fuller figure helped her win first place in a beauty pageant.

But now she's triggered a savage debate about her presence in the world of beauty contests, a world almost exclusively ruled by the slim and shapely.

One pageant expert says, "Chloe ought to own up to the truth. She is fat, and she got that way by overeating."

Chloe, who is studying to be a beautician, is 17-years-old, and stands 5'10" tall, with a 38DD bust.

"I'm very happy about the way I am, and my weight, and my body size," says Chloe. She insists she eats healthy meals and exercises. She was heavy even as an adolescent, and now describes herself as "an ambassador for curves."

But Chloe's claim that she is a role model for larger women has triggered an astonishingly personal attack by a former Miss England judge. The woman, a dietician, wrote in a newspaper: "Chloe is a terrible role model. If Chloe is so overweight at barely 17, one shudders to imagine just how fat she will be a few years down the line."

A reader commented, "It makes me mad when people like Chloe are allowed to glamorize obesity."

Like my granny always said, there's just not much you can do with stupid.


*I watch Inside Edition. I like Deborah Norville. Sue me.

Lisa Marie Presley

wrote this delightful little missive on her Myspace Blog after photos of her made the rounds and she was accused of being *fat* for no reason other than appearing to be eating too much:

After being the target all week of slanderous and degrading stories, horribly manipulated pictures and articles in the media, I have had to show my cards and announce under the gun and under vicious personal attack that I am in fact pregnant. Once they got a glimpse of my expanding physique a few days ago, they have been like a pack of coyotes circling their prey whilst eerily howling with delight. Starting with a London publication and then New York and Chicago all writing false defamatory degrading stories about all of the dark possible reasons I could be putting on weight. The US tabloids have been calling all day wanting confirmation on all kinds of insane theories.They couldn't wait to find out if my weight gain was because I was just overeating, in which case It would be open season and they can do the old following in her fathers sad and unfortunate demise story again or less interesting for them and probably much to their dismay, I could just be pregnant and therefore have a legitimate reason for weight gain at which point they should probably wipe the saliva off of their fangs and put them back in their mouths or they may expose the black little souls that they are.Now that things are confirmed, hopefully they can stop all of the harassment and I can stop dodging the continuous bullets.

It is unfortunate that I couldn't have announced something that is this much of a blessing and that has made us so incredibly happy under better circumstances. How they have handled themselves with this has been nothing short of irresponsible and disgusting.Pardon my seething contemptuous tone but ladies, You KNOW if you were pregnant and you felt you were expanding uncontrollably by the moment as a result and the worldwide media started badgering and harassing you for it, plastering you everywhere in an unflattering light, you would be mortified as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aww, poor Lisa Marie. What a terrible, degrading, slanderous, unflattering thing to happen to you. Someone called you... fat. Based on this little rant, it sounds as if it's the worst thing that's ever happened to you. Guess your dad dying such a public death in your childhood takes a back seat to being called the *F* word. I particularly love the 'I could be just be pregnant and have a legitimate reason for gaining weight.' comment. Pray tell, you dimwit, what are the other 'legitimate'-read allowable-reasons in the current obesity witchhunt climate we fnd ourselves in, hmm?

Please know that I say this with all sincerity and candor, and it comes from someone who was and is a true fan of your late, great father: Go fuck yourself, you pissy, bigoted, bitch.

Dear Goldie:

You're cool, you really are. I've always thought you were sweet and funny and ditzy in a way not at all annoying or that would wear on one's nerves in about oh, say, eight minutes.

But this? My dear, you are not twenty-five anymore. Or even fifty, for that matter. Juuust a few tips:

1. Wear a bra. Seriously.
2. Tall black everyday boots do not go with cream-colored dresses.
3. And I use the term dress charitably here.
4. Fire your stylist. Conversely, if you are picking out your own clothes, STOP! Immediately.
5. Can I see your panties? Oh.My.Dear.God, I can. My Eyes! My eyes, they burn.
6. But I guess you get credit for actually wearing panties. Said credit cancelled out by the whole not wearing a bra thing, unfortunately.
7. Don't ever wear this again. Ever. Burn it.

Picture via Go Fug Yourself.

Phone Calls, I Get Phone Calls

South Carolina, in its infinite wisdom, chose this year to split up its Republican and Democratic Presidential Primaries into two days, respective Saturdays.

The Republicans rolled last week, and last Thursday and Friday I was treated to a never-ending series of phone calls. I came home last Thursday to a message (nay, spittle-laced screed) from Madelyn Murray-O'Hare's son, decrying the Godless atheists and all they had done to ruin our country. I think he wanted me to vote for Huckabee. Or go pray in a school.

Alas, don't despair. Mike called. Mitt called. And called. And called again. His wife even called Saturday morning. Word to the wise dude, girls are turned off by that whiff of desperation. And John McCain called. His call was the best.

With the Dems, it's been a different story. A polite, not pre-recorded young man from the Obama campaign called and left a message asking to call him back so he could talk about his candidate. John called as well, and left a nice message. He's a good fellow, appears as if his momma raised him right. I like him.

Hill and John themselves called last night, according to the Caller ID, but didn't leave messages.

The best one has been the call from the obviously deranged fellow in Texas, who is a well-known Clinton hater, continually barraging reporters with emails that claim Bill and Hillary have been behind everything from the Lindbergh baby to Jimmy Hoffa.

This one was a humdinger. It started off "Did you know Hillary launched into a profanity-laced fit on Inauguration Day 1993 when she discovered she would not be allowed to use Al Gore's office? Can Hillary be trusted?

It went on from there, listing a number of alleged crimes by Hillary, always followed by 'Can Hillary be trusted?'.

The best one? Hillary hired a well-known bad guy to stalk and harass Kathleen Willey, including having Willey's cat kidnapped, and it is believed, later killed. He went on to say, quote, "Hillary thinks cats are expendable. Can she be trusted?"

Not to make light of animal cruelty by any means, but I have to say, if any of this were true, I think Hillary thinking cats are expendable is the least of our worries.

It's My Fault, Really

I like to watch the local 5:00 p.m. news and then the ensuing 6:00 p.m. news--it's my latent OCD/Asperger's tendencies rearing their little heads, I think.

In between the news shows, the local affiliate runs 'Inside Edition'. Which I generally leave on & pay limited attention to, except when they do some cute animal story or some other equally innocuous fluff.

Today, like yesterday, has been all Heath Ledger, all the time. What caught my attention, and caused me to throw up in my mouth this afternoon was the sign-off story: video of an empty apartment in the same building where Ledger passed away.

Because the story isn't complete without the viewing public being treated to the verisimilitude of an apartment 'like' the apartment in which Ledger died.

Edward R. Murrow would be so proud.

Quite Possibly

the greatest response from an advice columnist, ever:

Dear Prudence,

I'm 24, and I've been with my boyfriend for about 18 months. We were friends in high school, then met again after college, and started living together almost immediately. We have been talking about marriage lately, which I am beyond excited about; however, my boyfriend has informed me that I need to lose 20 pounds before he will propose. He claims that's the only reason he hasn't asked me yet. In his words, he wants "a hot wife." Am I crazy to think that unconditional and true love still exists? Everything else in our relationship is great. I don't want to walk away from something so wonderful, but this just seems a little ridiculous. Help!
—In Love With Mr. Vain
Dear In Love,I have a plan that will make both of you happy. It begins with you starting on a new exercise program. Get a comfortable outfit and a pair of excellent workout shoes. Then put all your worldly possession in a suitcase, pick it up, walk out the door, and keep on walking.

—Prudie

From the Slate.com Dear Prudence column, posted on 1.17.08

For 2008, I Resolve

to again not join Weight Watchers.

For so many reasons, including that they've always seemed like a bit of a cult to me; I'm enough like Groucho that I'm not overly impressed with any club that would have me as a member, but most of all, because of their beyond obnoxious and self-serving ad campaign of 'Diets Don't Work' and 'Diet is a 4-letter word' unveiled for the 2008 "I must starve myself because I overindulged during the most recent holiday bacchanalia, gained five pounds and am now a worthless person." season.

It does however, appear to be working for somebody:
Weight Watchers Key numbers for fiscal year ending December, 2006:
Sales: $1,233.3 Million
One year growth: 7.1%
Net income: $209.8Million
Income growth: 20.3%

I also resolve to never eat Special K, a brand that has been working overtime to develop an entire line of faux foods to further convince and encourage women they should make do with cardboard and liquid to attain an arbitrary ideal. I also resolve never to eat Special K because I despise beyond all that is rational that damn commercial where the mom is in the red & white robe bending over at the fireplace as her spawn declaims 'Santa' from the stairs. And all mom does is smile lovingly and head for the cabinet full of artfully arranged Special K items? Makes my head explode.

And Subway needs to check itself, because it's newest ad campaign, where the sylph-like young woman asks what comes with the cheeseburger deal, only to be met with a barrage of self-esteem stripping adjectives from the twit behind the counter is really beginning to get on my nerves. I'd really hate to give up my six-inch tuna on whole wheat w/ spinach subs.

All Is Right With The World

Kathy Griffin has a new stand-up special tonight.

Man how I wish she'd bring a stand up show to my neck of the woods. That's a ticket I'd buy in a heartbeat.