Dear Goldie:

You're cool, you really are. I've always thought you were sweet and funny and ditzy in a way not at all annoying or that would wear on one's nerves in about oh, say, eight minutes.

But this? My dear, you are not twenty-five anymore. Or even fifty, for that matter. Juuust a few tips:

1. Wear a bra. Seriously.
2. Tall black everyday boots do not go with cream-colored dresses.
3. And I use the term dress charitably here.
4. Fire your stylist. Conversely, if you are picking out your own clothes, STOP! Immediately.
5. Can I see your panties? Oh.My.Dear.God, I can. My Eyes! My eyes, they burn.
6. But I guess you get credit for actually wearing panties. Said credit cancelled out by the whole not wearing a bra thing, unfortunately.
7. Don't ever wear this again. Ever. Burn it.

Picture via Go Fug Yourself.